WryAwry

It takes a village to forget how to build mud huts.

#22: You are banned from participating in a Boquete-centric website administered by non-Boquetenos because your knowledge of and opinions about life in Chiriqui Province are too inflammatory for the tender sensibilities of a few newcomers and a couple of old soreheads.

Why is their a problem with home skool?

Not enough "us". Too much "THEM". So, Happy New Year to all you others, you fringe-dwellers, you odd-balls, you knuckleheads, you People of the Mists, you Children of the Corn, you twinks, gomers, and goof-heads, you religious firebrands, you political lunatics, you fervent navel-gazers, you food activists, you former Canadians, you "Swirlies", you extreme surfer-types, you boozers, you butchers and bakers and candlestick makers, you shifty wanderers and you shiftless stay-at-homers, you hobbyists and obsessive-compulsives, you elitists, you lost and forsaken, you grifters and cons, you pros and amateurs, and all the rest of you poor losers who unfortunately aren't like me in every way, shape, and form. Perhaps your New Year's resolution should be to move over here to the other side of the tracks, the proper side of the river, the front-side of the mountain, the good neighborhood, the "chosen" side of the planet, the correct corner of the galaxy, the right side of what's left ......... Time to straighten-up and start flying right. Then, maybe you can teach the world how to sing in perfect harmony. Another friendly PSA from the guy who puts the "goo" in Guru, wryawry

Any truth to the rumor (seen elsewhere) about a Wal-Mart in Chiriqui Province? Oh, wait ..... seems like that rumor actually referred to the evident influx and increasing proliferation of "people of Wal-Mart". This is exactly why I refuse to shop at Wallyworld. I'm deathly afraid that someone will snap my foto and put it on that website. (Note to self: don't forget to order a new 55 gallon drum of Plumber's Butt-Crack Putty.) (Note to self: don't mix-up the toothpaste with the Preparation H, and don't mix-up the Preparation H with the Crazy Glue.) Stay abreast with the best, wryawry

Management has announced that all participants will be awarded a do-over starting tomorrow. Don't blow it! A friendly public-service announcement provided by the competent staff here at wryawry. Additional details available telepathically for only $9.99 Balboas -- act now to start your New Year off right!

I've been following the controversy surrounding the practice of the efflorescenceidating of drinking water, which has begun to show evidence of making people really boring. I spackle get in trouble over this .... yrwayrw

Dear Chiriqui Lifers, Please remember that Edna's efforts to preserve and promote Sitio Barriles represent a private passion little-supported by formal research organizations -- some of which, she has maintained, have basically stolen artifacts from the site to be put on display in Panama City museums without any compensation to Edna's family whatsoever for their own exhaustive research, development, and protection of the site over the decades. I believe it was ten or eleven years ago -- I'm uncertain as to the exact time-frame -- Edna's Son was involved in a horrible head-on automobile collision which left him severely and permanently injured and disabled. I frankly have no idea if he survives to this day, but I do know that Edna credits mythological healing properties to the energies prevalent at Sitio Barriles and she has held profound certainty that these powers were the primary influence in her Son's survival and whatever degree of healing that occurred after his accident. I would hope to hear that Edna's Son survives to this day, and that all is well for Edna and her family. Cynics are quick to dismiss allegations that Barriles is as source of some ill-defined "Power". There have been many anecdotes about significant historical anthropological influences from purported far-flung and "unlikely" visitors from Africa and the Orient, shamanistic practices, ritual healing, phenomena considered physically improbable, artifacts found from distant cultural sources (including ORO!!), magic, and even extra-terrestrial visitations. Individuals may argue and debate about these and other considerations until they're blue in the face, and who cares? All I know is what I personally observed and sensed and felt during the course of several visits there, and I thought it was really, really cool. I'll confess to skepticism about the assertions that "water runs uphill", but, hey! I'm just a plumber! Who knows? All I know for sure is that Sitio Barriles is quite beautiful -- and serene. Perhaps the near proximity to Rio Serena ... ? I hope that visitors to Sitio Barriles will be aware of the enormous significance of their generous contributions to Edna and her family, which help not only with their personal welfare, but also help ensure the preservation of this crucial resource. Cordially, Dav

Stoves with glass tops shouldn't brown scones.

And how do you say, "thanks for your perspective"? http://brightcove.vo.llnwd.net/v1/uds/pd/29913724001/201512/1253/29913724001_4657419415001_4657357492001.mp4?pubId=29913724001&videoId=4657357492001

It has a certain *ring that is nascent ....

Yes. Well. The Drump approves, so? Tough. Get hip to the New World Order, or get left behind. Maybe you should invest in my new book, "How to Be a Reel American in Ten Easy Steps." Only $9.99 Balboas. (***Note: suitable for ALL the Americas.)

Awaiting the arrival of "Boundless" ...

Sorry, Bud. Just a generic ejaculation. I'm firmly in the camp that current events world-wide carry consequences and repercussions even for lotus-eating expats in paradisaical Chiriqui Province. The evidence of knee-jerk reactionary dialog manifests still on ... other .... "social" sites. Having been hobbled from opining, however insipidly or blabbermouthy, about hot-button issues that raise the ire of good folks feeling affected or afflicted gives me the mental equivalent of the "Jimmyleg". Perhaps I should try to keep the lid on the simmering pot or just pour it into a pressure-cooker and clamp the lid down tight and pray that the relief valve is functional. I had hoped that utilizing the broader-range category implicit in the "Personal Musings" forum would not cause offense. I will, however, stipulate that evidence shows tender sensibilities afoot, and I can't help but chuckle at the irony of the proliferation of the very opinions, rants, outbursts, bust-ups, clashes, debates, disagreements, rhubarbs, wrestling matches, conflicts, quarrels, squabbles, donnybrooks, sparring matches, scuffles, melees, confrontations, affrays, brawls, tussles, clashes, rumbles, duels, scrimmages, altercations, ruckuses, dogfights, and other various and sundry intellectual free-for-all's that I personally was alleged to have occasionally instigated and which ultimately led to my own disqualification to participate in the day-to-day discourse now re-manifesting as the soup du jour in other places I yet lurk. My feeling remains that, especially this time-of-year, when emotions can be tricky and can contribute to a variety of fevers and vapors, it is important to occasionally stop. And take a few deep breaths. And be grateful for the simple things. Health, or its recovery. Dear friends and family, and the love and happiness that they engender. Beauty and magic that, even when not smacking you in your face, are always present around that corner, or behind that door, or out that open window, or up in the heavens suspended by who-knows-what. And the unique gifts we have been given: charity, compassion, and empathy -- all of which have the incredible power to overwhelm the natural inclinations to focus on the differences we all have. I find myself musing about these things, so off I go a-musing. Never to waste a long, windy, polysyllabic word when a diminutive one will prove sufficient ... wry

Let's consider, for a moment, the parallel between the soul journey and the physical path. Forgive, if you will, the usage of "The Royal We" as the precept of this discussion. The mystery for each of us, no matter how we perceive ourselves, nor the method that caused us to have found ourselves at this particular place in this specific time, is the perpetual pursuit of the understanding of the origin and of the ultimate destination. From whence and to whither? How is it that I have found myself amongst these people, and who the hell do we think we are? Forgetting the spark of the soul, it has been argued that we are mobile bags of water and guts that were cunningly (or accidentally!) designed to transport our big, impressive brains around to find chow and a warm place to sleep so that we might be strong enough to hump merrily and make lots of little copies of ourselves. Fair enough. The biological imperative is most ... compelling, and certainly applies to every animal, vegetable, and semi-sentient mineral like, say, your average politician. The biological imperative foments the family, the family increases exponentially into the extended family, which integrates into a tribe, which then busily describes a methodology for survival and sustainability. Tribes, by necessity, band together and align many individual differences in order to protect and defend themselves from THEM -- the evil ones -- the ones from more different, more alien tribes way outside the realms of decency, normality, and all reason. THEY are soulless. OUR souls -- that divine spark bestowed upon us by the omniscient Highest Power -- are better. Our souls are "the best", because our HP can kick the flabby ass of any one of those "pretend" HP's that those evil outsiders have invented. Our souls are safe. Theirs? Not so much. As is well known, we will prevail, cuz Good always prevails over Evil. Those poor bastards are doomed, as they should be. We link our arms, and arm our arms, and together we march, chanting catchy phrases, until we see, glistening in the distance, that Shining City on the Hill, where the Wisest of us reside and issue forth weighty edicts about Who, What, Where, When, and Why. We shower then with Goodness and Light and Shining Baubles and overflowing feed-troughs to enable them the latitude to thereby reward us with such gifts as we are probably not worthy of. Their largess is legendary, it may be said. For we are truly The Chosen. We are exceptional. We know naked power when we see it, and we hope and pray that it recognizes us as the dutiful souls we are, and that it treats us accordingly. For it is the Soul Journey, in the end, that proves to be the most critical aspect of this game of life. It is our soul (!) purpose to gather our family unto our bosom, to prepare our compound with high, stout walls and a robust gate, to festoon our defenses with the Holy Concertina Wire (but not so densely that it obstructs the field of fire), and to carefully study the ways and means of mercifully and gently eradicating the viral cancer that we call the rest of humanity. We know they're out there. Let's keep our eyes on the horizon, and our fingers close to the triggers. We must FIGHT for peace! Most closely aligned with our biological imperative is our moral imperative -- to utterly destroy infidels, or whatever you want to call 'em. Please remember me when I get to Washington, you heathen ex-pats, wryawry (I'm wryawry, and I approve of this message.)

All that blather about a common, garden-variety gnashshoal.

Simply turn off every breaker in your panel and observe if the meter is still spinning. Ensure that electronics are properly shut-down first.

How can these poor, misguided souls be so monumentally stoo-pud? I mean, the Great Big Invisible White Man in the Sky whispers entreaties and directives straight into my pearl-like ears during every waking moment, and yet not a one of these folks has so much as asked for my advice and council, despite the fact that it is absolutely FREE! (Only $9.99 Balboas shipping and handling.) This week's Webinar: "Anti-Muslim Fortification of Your Compound". Bulk rates available for concertina wire. Remember, the GBIWMITS sez, "Get your tickets early!" Altruistically, wryawry

Questions for those who have most recently jumped thru the hoops. Anybody?

Hey, Phil, First, get current, local recommendations and referrals for architects/builders. Excersize all due diligence prior to starting. Something that nearly nipped us was adherence to labor laws. Talk to your abogado about ensuring that everything is a lawful -- and SPECIFIC -- subcontract unless you want to find yourself an employer. Every detail should be in writing. Your expectations will be meaningless unless the specifics have been negotiated in writing in advance. Plan on supervising every trade for every step, and pay for nothing up front without specific performance guarantees. There seems to be an unfortunate tendency to take the money and run. If you can General your job vis-a-vis material requisition, you can be money ahead as long as you can effectively estimate quantities and critical-path scheduling. It was long ago that I was involved with construction projects down there. Specific issues that I experienced were mostly structural: concrete and steel. Batch mixing was unheard of at the residential construction level, necessitating careful observance of continuous structural placement. I specified my own reinforcement schedules based on experience with an eye toward seismic integrity and comprehensive bonding. You may wish to consult with a structural engineer or at the least with an architect well-versed in structural elements. I saw projects with structural concrete lintels and beams poured over ensuing days with cold joints mid-span. Yi! As far as plumbing goes, it seemed routine to encase piping without pressure testing -- just stupid, in my experience. PEX water distribution had not happened yet, I'd be curious to know if this product is now available, as it should be. There also seemed to be a casual ignorance of venting drain lines. I wonder if mechanical air vents have been adopted down there yet. Plan for adequate surplus water storage and treatment as necessary. It goes without saying that sanitary drainage should be very carefully -- and preferably professionally -- designed. Undertake careful planning for anticipated electrical loads, and be prepared to ensure adequate outlets are designed-in. You may need specific professional planning for data/media cabling. Consider LED lighting and even small-scale 12v solar back-up lighting. Lastly, personal security is really job one. Everything needs to be nailed-down until it's nailed-up, and contingency planning needs to be a priority in every step of your design work. Secured fuel tanks, secured power supply, secured storage, plenty of security lighting, defensible space, etc. Enjoy the pursuit of the "Seven P 's". Dav

The most effective weather device is the rock hanging on a string, according to my friend Noah Therway.

I manufactured all of my security bars out of AK-47s, The barrels are all bent so they are facing outward. There's a string that connects all the triggers. The ammo feeds from a ginormous hopper up in the attic. Preparation is key! (Also reasonably effective against swarms of mosquitoes, wasps, bees, and flying ants. Not particularly effective against snakes.) Just another example of "The Seven P's", wryawry

Government Officials warn that coatimundis have been proven to sneak across international borders with unclear agendas.

Yad ecin a halb.

Please establish six additional profiles for my other personalities. signed, wryawry and friends