WryAwry

I must say, it is entertaining to take a look at current topics over there. The current, most prolifically-commented upon topic serves to reinforce the observation that one "el Gato" continues to conclusively prove himself to be a common, garden-variety gnashshoal.

These simple guidelines should assist all the denizens of Boquete in determining whether or not their observations of strangers in their neighborhoods are maleantes or not. I fully expect this list to be approved by the Official Administrative Authority of Chiriqui Province, who will likely publish it in its entirety, as well as printing it in handy pamphlets to be passed around at the Tuesday Market. 1. Is the individual in question ........ sinister? 2. Shoot him. Another public service announcement brought to you by the good folks at wryawry.

Like another elsewhere, I would defiantly recommend moving. Rebel against stillness! At the very least, consider the Jimmy-leg, or simply drumming the fingers. And never hesitate to make defiant recommendations! Don't just sit there like a lump on a bog! An advocate for ACTION, wryawry

Call me if you need a lift cuz you've been having a bit too much fun! (Oh, you'll need to send me a plane ticket.) (Two plane tickets.) (First class!)

Paint them like Diablos Rojos!

Bah. Thieves.

Dear Fellow Chiriqui Livers, Lifers, and Lovers: Perhaps some of you may have heard rumors of upcoming political elections way up here in the Land of the Beer and the Home of the Rave. As there appears to be no small interest in the potential results of the plethora of contests for unbridled power, and the likelihood of their impacts on all creatures and expats, great and small, I believe that it is high time that Chiriqui Life addresses these history-making events with the institution of a Political Commentary topic, complete with the requisite hyperbole, baseless accusations, ad hominem attacks, sputtering invective, and screeching rhetoric. I believe that the human condition, something which we all share in common, can only be advanced and enhanced by any opportunity whatsoever to spew vitriol in the general direction of any and all who may happen to disagree with our more comprehensive and correct opinions and viewpoints. Perhaps editorial boundaries could be lifted in these endeavors to permit the untrammeled employment of filthy language in order to permit participants to fully express their true feelings. As an empathetic and humanitarian soul, I would start the discourse with outlandish and outrageous, I mean serious and piercing commentary, i.e.: Politics suck, politicians suck, people with political beliefs suck, people who like politics suck, people who don't like politics suck, and people who don't like people who don't like politics or politicians suck. Pretty much everybody sucks. I will eagerly anticipate meaningful dialog and the intellectually-enriching sharing of opinions pertaining to these crucial issues. Your friend, wryawry Next up: religion

Sometimes ya gotta let lying dawgs lay.

I wish his family and loved ones the peace that surpasseth all understanding, secure in the knowledge that Justice Scallia held the courage of his own convictions, and acted accordingly. That being said, nobody has called upon me to fill those shoes, an unfortunate oversight which I hope for the good of all will be remedied soon. It sounds like a good gig. I promise to be tough but fair. Which is to say, I've got my buddies' backs, and woe be unto mine enemies. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. This here's America, by gum! Please refer to me henceforth as "Mr. Superb". Grinding slowly, wryawry

Very way too coolest in the history of everything ever in the universe of the galactic wow!!

Sometimes it's hard to Copa.

That's the thing about hyperbole -- sometimes it's just too hyper!

We can all rest assured that the results of the upcoming Presidential election here in the US will ensure that many American citizens will be migrating to Cuba.

Gimmee the bread. Keep the circus.

ATCHOO! Oops.

A much more practical approach to trans-provincial travel would be the construction of twin gondola lifts to the top of Baru -- one from Boquete, and one from Volcan. This will serve nicely until the teletransporter has the bugs worked out. Properly engineered gondola cars should have plenty of room on roof racks to accomodate coffee bags, suitcases and boxes, and travelling rooster crates. Be sure to bring a jacket or sweater, and don't forget the ear plugs! Read it in the papers, 15 years ago. wryawry

A more modern iteration: Shoot -- go ahead, shoot.

Clearly, a proactive contract should have been in place with a little Dutch boy.

This topic is becoming a font of knowledge.

I shudder to think that I would shutter my thinking ....

Allow me to register a formal Request for Appeal from the Board of Negative Reputations here on Chiriqui.Life. Yet again, a (rather lame) attempt at light-hearted banter has been misconstrued as some kind of an affront towards: 1. Gringos 2. Canadians 3. Canadian Gringos 4. Gringo Canadians To reiterate, in my own defense, I hate everybody. I consider myself to be an equal-opportunity hater. I have worked very hard to be a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate hater. Additionally, it is well known that Canadians are actively involved in a fell conspiracy to conquer the world with their cheerful miens, their happy-go-lucky attitudes, their neighborliness, and other dangerous things like donuts. (Cheerful, friendly, neighborly donuts have already compromised my own ability to react forcefully to Canadian incursion by stealthily coating my manly fast-twitch musculature with multiple layers of too-sweet donut-meat.) Do not be swayed from the mission to closely observe and catalog wily Canadian Gringo methodologies! Beware the turtleneck! Oh. Yeah. And site Management? Remove this negative reputation immediately, or you may expect to hear from my team of Abogados! (Remember, Dear Reader, positive reputations are ALWAYS AVAILABLE here at wryawry.gov for only $9.99 Balboas, plus $9.99 Balboas shipping and handling.)

Trudeau dat.

In the cockles of my memory, I recall having met more than one grim-go down there.

It is my hope that the Consular Representatives will take the time to pay a visit with Her Majesty's subject Marion while in Chiriqui, Dav

Thou shalt not have any Great Big Invisible White Man in the Sky above me. For I am the meanest mofer in the Valley.